#43: Jazz (1984)

Jazz was the very first Transformer I got as a child. Along with Runabout, on my 10th birthday, as a matter of fact. I specifically asked for Jazz, I remember, because, and I remember this with perfect clarity (and because I still believe it to this very day) that Jazz is cool.

He had a cool voice in the cartoon, Scatman Crothers, the man who had previously been the voice of Hong Kong Phooey (a childhood favourite of mine), and the guy who gets killed by Jack Nicholson in The Shining (spoilers). This guy was just too cool for school, and, by extension, so was Jazz. It helped of course, that Jazz was amazingly cool and awesome in the G1 cartoon. Always at Prime's side, like his Tech Spec bio states he is Prime's right hand man (even if the comics eschewed this notion and made Prowl Prime's go-to guy instead). He was always in the thick of the action, was Jazz, fighting alongside the others, yet always standing out looking good. It helped that he was in some very cool episodes too, one of the best being The God Gambit, where he keeps on explaining to the people of Titan that Transformers aren't gods, and that they don't need to be worshipped. He did it with style, though, as he did everything. It's his motto after all.

Sadly Scatman died in 1986, and the cartoon makers, quite rightly, dropped Jazz quietly from the cartoon, although he is visible in the early season 3 episode occasionally. After that though, Jazz disappeared, like I say though, only rightly. If Scatman couldn't voice him, then he just wouldn't have been the same.

Jazz's toy is classic G1 Autobot car. Although only his arms can move, he looks dynamic and stylish, with great detailling all over the toy. The car mode is also excellent, being a very faithful rendition of a Martini Racing Porsche 935(although later releases of the toy would drop the Martini stickers). The thing is with Jazz, whenever he's been brought out in another form, it's always exceedingly close to this version of the toy, even the movie version of Jazz would see a 'throwback' release in his old colours.

Jazz was never going to get much criticism from me, due to good old fashioned nostalgia. Thing is though, there's not that much, if anything to criticise anyway. The toy is a classic of the genre, and in the cartoon at least, his Tech Spec bio has been almost rigidly adhered to. He could have been allowed to do a bit more in the comics, maybe. He was lobotomised by Galvatron, though. I guess that's not the worst excuse in the world, is it?

#42: Blurr (1986)

At the time of writing, Blurr is the only one of the trifecta of Hot Rod, Kup and Blurr that I don't own, in G1 terms, anyway. I always did want to own a Blurr, though. My schoolmate Jeremy had one, and I was always very jealous. I loved Blurr's character from his Tech Spec bio, that he was a courier, a messenger, and not so much a fighter. I have to admit though, his motto sucked a little bit.

Blurr was an ever-present in the G1 cartoon from the movie onwards. His introduction was, like many of the 'new toy' characters a case of 'He's been here all along! Did you not notice him? No? Losers...' which was suitably brief and to the point. Blurr even had a storyline all to himself in 'Five Faces of Darkness', the post-movie miniseries that continued on from where the movie had left off. Blurr was definitely a big part of the new order in the Transformers universe. True, he never really did anything of worth or even note apart from talk fast like that guy from the Micro Machines ad (mainly because they were the same person, natch), but he was always there, and that's what counts.

In the comics, it was very much the same story. He was there, and he did stuff. Nothing that was particularly noteworthy, unless you count being slaughtered by Galvatron and being decapitated. Mind you, that timeline ended up not having ever happened, of course. In the UK comics at least, Blurr was around quite a bit, Simon Furman utilising pretty much the whole movie cast in lieu of having lots and lots of US material to play with - this was actually manna from heaven for Furman, because he could use the movie characters and not have to worry about messing up the US continuity, which took precedent. Blurr therefore turned up in lots of the UK-produced tomes, and is possibly better loved in the UK for it.

Blurr's toy is pretty standard for the era - not very articulated, transforms into a Cybertronic vehicle that doesn't really look like anything and could therefore BE anything, and is therefore cool. To me, anyways. I think that's just envy again. Seriously, I would have done anything for this toy in 1986. I always liked Blurr's colour scheme, too. Mainly for the fact that there's about a million shades of blue in there. There's a crappy fanfic BDSM book joke in there somewhere.

Blurr holds of a lot of happy memories for me. Mainly of the early 90's, watching Transformers: The Movie with my mate Andy, who also owned some of the Transformers VHS tapes with season 3 stuff on them. Plus, the UK Marvel comics where he featured heavily, and where I first started to love comic books as much as I do now. So, thanks Blurr. Even if you ended up being nothing more than a secretary in the Japanese Headmasters cartoon.

#41: Runabout (1986)

Runabout, along with Jazz, was one of my very first Transformers, on my tenth birthday, in 1986. I can remember it quite clearly; one of the only times I've ever been excited about my birthday. I usually hated them, but this year was different, this year, I'd be getting Transformers. Get them I did, and Jazz and Runabout were played with a lot, I can tell you. I still have them to this day, believe it or not.

In later years, I realised something; Runabout and his comrade Runamuck are basically Beavis and Butt-head. No, really. They're always seen together, they very probably like heavy metal, they're both complete idiots, and they both like to break stuff. I mean, Runabout and Runamuck went on a grand tour of the USA, graffittiing national monuments. They would have succeeded too, if Circuit Breaker and the world's lamest gestalt hadn't shown up. Sadly, that seems to be the high point of their fiction. In the cartoon they appeared in one episode only, and the focus of that was Starscream (who didn't even have a toy out that year). In the Marvel comics, Runabout survived the battle with Unicron but got eaten straight after by a Cybertronic demon; in Dreamwave he had all his energy sapped by Sunstorm and was left for dead; and in IDW he was electorocuted by the Reapers until he exploded. Seriously, this guy needs to stop dying. Stat.

I know what you're going to say. His toy suuuuuuuucks. I AM aware of this, you know. Because he's a Battlecharger, his gimmick destroys any chance that the toy may have had of having any sort of articulation. The pop-up gimmick is pretty cool though. And the black and red go together really well. And sod it, he was one of my first ever Transformers. I'm always going to love and forgive him for anything.

Runabout then, is cool. His toy may not be cool, and he may have a serious survival problem when it comes to Transformers comics. But I love the guy. He's Butthead in Transformer form. What's not to love? Huh-huh-huh.

#40: Over-Run (1990)

Over-Run was the first Action Master vehicle toy I bought. I never regretted it. I remember it was Autumn 1990 or thereabouts, and that I was excited as all getout to get him out of the box and get playing, I mean, erm, appreciating the toy's engineering. I'll be honest, the Attack Copter isn't the greatest vehicle ever made. But it was fun to play with. Darn.

The character of Over-Run's a weirder one to pin down, though. As you see from his Tech Spec bio, all you get is that he doesn't take orders from anyone but himself. As bios go, it's a stinker. I mean, it's almost as bad as the ones we get today (Megatron is a Decepticon, etc). The first time I had any hint as to what he was like, was in Dreamwave's More than Meets the Eye series. Whereupon you find out that Over-Run is a bit of a jackass, honestly. He bosses people around, shouts abuse at them if he thinks they're not doing their jobs properly, and generally is hated by everyone. But in fact, he doesn't care about that, because he's here to win the war, and not make friends. This is just me, but he actually sounds like Frank Burns from M*A*S*H. For that alone, I kinda like Over-Run a little bit more. He's also brave - look at that Courage bar! An ass he may be, but he's a brave ass.

Like I said, the Attack Copter's not the greatest toy, but heck, it's fun. Over-Run himself is brightly coloured (even if he is predominantly red) and suits having a Copter as his vehicle, having seemingly once transformed into a helicopter himself. The Copter transforms into a mobile missile battery, with Over-Run as it's pilot, which I think is a nice touch. Personally, I love the Attack Copter, especially the windscreen. Potentially the most pointless windscreen in the world.

Over-Run has sadly been forgotten by many. He has been in the Wings Universe (not that anyone cares), but has only been in the IDW universe once, as a guard in Spotlight: Arcee. I look forward to him popping up elsewhere, as I think a Frank Burns-alike in the More than Meets the Eye book would be a welcome addition!

#39: Needlenose (1988)

Needlenose is more relevant now then he was back in 1988. There, I said it. In a world where celebrity is now king, where TOWIE and Paris Hilton are listened to more than politicians, where better for the ultimate celebrity cool dude Needlenose to reside?

I always liked Needlenose's Tech Spec bio. A lot of the Decepticon bios tend to be about how they're going to bring about the Autobot's ultimate doom, and their general badassness, Needlenose fell into the category of 'a little bit on the selfish side'. He's one of those who could have been an Autobot, if not for the fact that they were a little bit TOO much on the selfish side of things. He's like the anti-Jazz, fascinated with Earth fads and Earth pop culture in general, but instead of wanting to help people and join in the culture, he just wants it all for himself and no one else.

In the comics, he was a little bit inept too, being constantly talked up by Spinister, and always letting him down by being rubbish and lazy and yep, you guessed it, selfish. He ended up surrendering to the Autobots after Thunderwing went mental, and was never heard from again, until he wound up being one of Soundwave's neo-Decepticons, that is. He's around in the IDW-verse too, avoiding being lynched and generally being angry and looking cool and badass. In his mind, anyway. He was never in the cartoon though, and never got any Japanese action, the double Targetmasters not being sold there at all. Which I always thought of as slightly odd.

Needlenose is pretty much your gimmicky G1 brick, his only articulation being in his shoulders. To be fair though, that's not why you'd want him, it's Sunbeam and ZigZag, his partners, that's why you'd want him. Because Double Targetmasters are cool. He's actually a really cool toy, all things being equal, the plane mode looks good, and his robot mode does too, even without the articulation. Also, Double Targetmasters are cool. I may have mentioned this before.

It looks like Needlenose might be due a comeback then, given the way that IDW's comics are going. Will he ever be a big player? Doubtful. But he's always there, so someday, the time may come when he can get his richly deserved 15 vorns of fame...

#38: Grapple (1985)

How could you not love Grapple? He's an artist, a master builder, an architect of the highest calibre. He's a 'bot who hates war, it impedes his integrity as an artist, after all. All he wants to do is build, and build well. Even if that means striking deals with distinctly dodgy types. But that says more about his naive nature than anything else.

Grapple was very lucky to receive a whole G1 episode pretty much all to himself in "The Master Builder". Sure, Hoist was there as well, but let's face it, Grapple was the main attraction here. What we get with this episode is a glimpse into Grapple's psyche, we really see what makes him tick. We also get to see that Optimus Prime is a complete douche sometimes, but I think we already knew that. I feel sorry for Grapple in many ways, it can't be easy for him, to be an architect in the middle of a war. I guess I always saw why he would suffer from depression, seeing the buildings he helps to create get obliterated. Poor guy.

Grapple's alt mode is the same as Inferno's, the Mitsubishi Fuso. As a kid, I always did wonder why those two didn't look like British or American trucks, and right there is your answer. They weren't, they were based off Japanese ones. Very exotic. Very cool, too. He's not so much a repaint as a retool, coming with different attachments and a different head. The crane arm is obviously different too. I have to report here that I always preferred Grapple to Inferno, cranes are cooler than Fire Trucks in my humble opinion. Plus, the orange was always a nicer colour to my mind. A bit more neony. That always gives me a happy.

Grapple then, is quite a serious character for the Transformers universe. A guy who suffers from depression due to the destruction that war causes. He even gets an episode to himself, where they follow to the letter what his Tech Spec bio tells us. Let's face it, the cartoon got it right here. The comic barely mentions him at all, it has to be noted. Although he is a current member of the Lost Light crew. Come on Rocherts, let's be having you...

#37: Scavenger (1985)

Poor Scavenger. I always feel sorry for the guy. His Tech Spec bio is really sad in a way, painting as it does a picture of a guy that no one likes, or sees any worth in. Yet, as the right arm of Devastator, he could punch your head clean of your body and deposit it in, say, Brazil. But the sad truth is, even his own team mates can't bear the guy. You have to have pity for someone like that.

Scavenger and the Constructicons debuted in the Transformers cartoon in the first season, presumably having been built by Megatron. (Later on, they would supposedly have built Megatron whilst also having been brainwashed by himself, but they're other stories for other times) Their main enemies were the Dinobots, who don't combine and never will, ok? Ok. The Constructicons DID combine though, which was their main gimmick. This resulted in two things. 1. the toys suffered from the gimmick 2. the characters suffered from the gimmick. Basically, neither the toys were much cop, and the characters were never explored fully, because their combining was what made toy sales. Sad but true. So even though the Constructicons had disparate personalities, in the cartoon at least, not much was made of it. Which missed the point a little bit, certainly with the 'character' (if it can be said that he even had one) of Devastator.

As for poor Scavenger, he got lost in the mayhem of toys to be sold. I always did like his Tech Spec bio though, and imagined him to be almost a giant puppy, always bringing back worthless items and getting reprimanded for it by Megatron and Scrapper. Like I said, poor guy. One day I'll get round to writing his story. Although not for IDW. It might be a smidge late for that.

Scavenger's toy alt mode was a more than servicable excavator (not digger, apparently. I'm not sure what the difference is there, but there is one, I'm told), but the robot mode does suffer from combiner syndrome, i.e. it's exceedingly simple and almopst perfunctory. That said, for the Constructicons, it's a good robot mode, and probably the reason why Scavenger's my favourite of the bunch.

Scavenger is my favourite Constructicon. Why? Well, because he's the underdog. He's the guy that gets picked on all the time, and I always hated that in any form. I guess being a guy that got picked on all the time at school made me always root for the little guy. Even if the little guy is a 20 foot tall robot who transforms into a construction vehicle.